Happy Memorial Day

"Let every nation know, whether it wishes us well or ill, that we shall pay any price, bear any burden, meet any hardship, support any friend, oppose any foe to assure the survival and the success of liberty. -John F. Kennedy"

On being me

Last week amongst the stress of my sister's life, and my mistake with my medicine, I realized that even though I have made a lot of progress in therapy, I still have a long way to go. It reminded me of how I revert to my old ways of coping. I just didn't see that one coming. Now aware, I will move on with this knowledge in effort to make better choices in the future.

Right now, I am riding high with a great attitude. Everything seems to have pulled together for the good of my life. I went to the dietitian and my results were impressive. I have now lost 25 pounds. My blood sugar is in check. I am feeling so good with very little pain and my well being is in a steady and peaceful state. I am eating well, exercising and making lots of progress in therapy. Amen is all I can say.

I have waited all my life to be a whole person. I know I have a ways to go, but from my perspective I am doing really good. It is like a magic formula. You have to have all of the parts working for the good of the main project (me). For years and years, I could not get it together. I would exercise, but always felt hungry. Never completely getting it right. Now that I have made this much progress, I am amazed at how hard it was and yet, once I learned the key facts, how easy it is.

Today, I am happy with my life. Why did it take so long to understand it all? I am hopeful and encouraged with my progress. I go to my family doctor in June and I pray that my numbers are as good. Cholesterol is down from 212 to 147 at the last visit. Blood sugar and triglycerides were still high at the last appointment. I know I can do this and I believe that my eating habits, taking medicines, and exercising will make all the difference. And I am finally sleeping. Yeah!

And lastly not to be overlooked, I thank all of you for your positive support and love. Of course I could not have done it without your support. Big hugs to all of you.

I am havin a heat wave

I started a post and went to save it and it is lost. I don't know what is going on with Blogger today. Today the weather is picture perfect with tolerable highs, clear and sunny. Last week was unbearable with highs in the low nineties and horrible humidity. Those kind of days suck the life out of me.

Remember how much trouble I was having with Cymbalta? I talked with my pharmacist, Mr. Killion, about the medicine. He said it is a vaso-dialator and that it would make me hot. There was some discrepancy about the dosage and he called my RA doctor to get it straight. I told her what the doctor had said about the medicine. Take one 30 mg. for a week then take two or 60mg. after that. Then the nurse from the RA doctor called me. I didn't think much of any of this until later in the day.

I went back and check my note the doctor gave me. It was correct. I went off the medicine and the side effects went away. Dumb as it sounds, I went back on the medicine last week only to have an episode at exercise where I thought I was going to spontaneously combust. I was on fire and my face was beet red. It took me hours to cool off and recover.

I was prepared for exercise the next time. I froze a wash cloth and took some ice in a baggy to keep myself cool. That helped a lot, but I have to tell you the ice in my bra really did the trick. Frozen wash rag on the back of my neck. My trainer gave me more breaks and let me catch my breath.

I found out that the script was correct, but I did not read the directions on the medicine. Folks, I am so stupid. The medicine was for 6o mg. and I had doubled it taking 120mg. The RA doc was suppose to give me samples of the meds in 30 mg., but he didn't. I just assumed that the medicine was written for 30 mg. and preceded according to instructions. I have never done anything so stupid. No wonder I was hot as all get out. No wonder I was not sleeping. I usually read my scripts, but the one time I didn't almost made me loose it. Of course I called the doctor's office earlier. That is how I found out about the samples. The nurse said to take one today, which I did and I am fine.

So now the ugly truth is out about how stupid I am. I don't have a clue why I did this. Maybe all the pain made me loose it or maybe the stomach ache or maybe days without sleep made me not so alert. I hope none of you ever do anything like this. I just hope my poor liver is OK.

That is it for how stupid can you get today. Y'all have a great weekend. I know I am going to enjoy the last few days of this cold front before it passes.

An update on my sister

Candy went to see her family doctor on Monday as well as starting back to therapy with a new therapist. They both have a plan for her. She is to stop all sugar, start eating three meals a day(sometimes she does not eat), make an appointment with a psychiatrist, start going to bed at 10:00, start exercising. She will also go to therapy twice a week and her family doctor started her on Cymbalta while titrating off of the Paxil.

That is a pretty big order for her to work on. She does sound hopeful. I told her to just take baby steps and that no one expects her to accomplish all of this at one time. Rather, this is a guide to her to improve her health. She also needs to stop smoking.

It is a huge relief to know that she wants to get better. Please keep her in your thoughts and prayers as she takes steps to get her life back.

Candy, my sister

Candy came and stayed two days with us. I prayed that I would find a gentle way to bring up the subject. The first day she was not into talking about anything. She slept in late and when she was up she looked like a zombie. When she is like this it is hard to get her up as all she wants to do is sleep. I am pretty sure I know what is going on with her, but I need her to tell me. She went back to sleep in the late afternoon. I keep trying to get her up. This scares me to see her like this. It brings back a lot of memories from previous times she has been down and hospitalized.

On the afternoon of the second day, I started by asking her some more questions about herself. She is not one that shares much with others even me. As I kept asking her questions, she finally said "What are you my therapist?" I said "No, I am your sister and I love you very much." She told me the exact things she knew I wanted to hear. Point one, two and three, but with no commitment in her voice. She is smart in that she knows what people want her to say. So, I probe a little deeper. She finally tells me that she feels worthless. She is depressed again. She knows she needs help, but has a hard time asking for it. This started when her dobberman, Carmen, had to be put down because of the breast cancer. I was afraid it would affect her this way.

I ask her "What can I do to help you?" This is not the first time or even the second time I have helped her. In fact, I can't even count the times, but I have no choice, but to help her any way I can. She is hesitant to even ask and says she hated to ask because of all the times we have hepled. I told her I will always help her. It is not a problem for me. She tells me that she needs help with her garage sale (she has been trying to do this for a while now). I say I will help.

I ask her to make a list of what she needs. She verbally tells me what she needs. Two and a half years ago, I gave her DIL my stove, refrigerator for her aunt and uncle's house that flooded. I had a working dishwasher which was supposed to be for Candy. I firmly believe in 'pay it forward'. We agreed that they would install the dishwasher. Well, you guessed it, they have not done so. When I ask them about it , the DIL shrugs her shoulders with a blank look for the answer.

Candy bought their old car a year ago. She needs the title to get her own insurance. DIL has not followed through with the title. She needs her yard mowed no one helps her. Her son is the first to help his wife's family. They are healthy and ten years younger than Candy. I don't understand why they won't help her. They say they want to help her, but never follow through. I just don't get it. They are the new Christians and yet they don't help their mother? I thought charity starts in the home first.

I explain to Candy that she needs to tell them what she needs. We practice a few times. I play her son. She is too nice when she speaks. I tell her to look me in the eyes and tell me (her son) what she needs. Candy promises that she will make that list for her son.

Candy is going to see her family doctor on Monday to see if she can get of Cymbalta for her pain. She is also going to her therapist that afternoon. She has asked for a new therapist. Hopefully, she will start feeling better and will open up in therapy. She is in so much pain that it debilitates her. So depressed that she sleeps all the time. I think if she weren't in so much pain she would be able to get better.

Now back to the dishwasher, I ask her to go to Lowe's and find one. Doc and I will pay for it and have it installed. That is one problem solved. On to the next, the garage sale. I told her I would buy her dishwasher if she would call Goodwill and have them come and get all of her stuff. It would be worth it not to have to deal with all of her stuff. And with all of the stuff left, I told her to make her third bedroom into a storage place. Just somewhere she can put all of her things until she is able to go through them. That way, she could keep the rest of her house in order. I know we are a long way off before this will happen.

This is where we are at right now. We have a plan. I hope all goes according to the plan. Right now I will wait and see. Yesterday, her best friend, Candy and I met for lunch in Shreveport, La. Her friend knows what is going on with her. I know she will keep Candy accountable. We had a lovely lunch togther. We promised to have lunch again in June, when Candy goes to LSU for her well check.

That is about it right now. Please keep her in your prayers. I am not sure where this will take us, but I feel it is a good start for now. Thank you so much for listenting.

Happy Mother's Day to all of you.
Be blessed.
Pam

Happy Mother's Day

Baby is helping me on the computer.

She has chewed one of the keys off of my lap top when I wasn't looking.

My youngest son, Hunter, came for a brief visit and brought me some of my favorite flowers.

Peonies


Peonies, my favorites. I wish you could smell them.

They are so intoxicating and exquisitely beautiful.



Thank you son for thinking of me.

Happy Mother's Day

My sister is coming to visit

My sister, Candy, is coming to visit me. Keep us in your prayers. I will be back after she leaves.