I struggle with letting go when someone hurts me. I become such a child that I don't even recognize myself. Last weekend, someone (my husband) pointed that very fact out to me. Needless to say, I was not happy. I don't know where this comes from? Maybe something deep rooted in my past, but I don't like myself when I am ugly and want revenge.
While I was walking yesterday, I just thought over and over why do I do that? How can I stop doing that? What makes me so unforgiving? Why do I let that person bother me? My friends know that I will take and take until I have had enough, then I just loose it. Well that happened about a month ago with my neighbor, so I just wrote her off. Poof, she does not exist to me anymore. She is now telling my other neighbor that I am touched in the head? Great just what I need from the big white burrito woman. Of course my neighbor does not believe her and just tells me to laugh it off.
Seems everything she does aggravates me. I am on guard for her next attack and I can't stand myself for this. I am so sick of this mess. I can't move, so I just try to ignore her. What gives them the right to play their freakin tejano music so loud. It just annoys the hell out of me. I think it she is inconsiderate. My husband said "You are worse than her." What? Oh! Please say it ain't so. I could not believe he said that to me! Forgive and forget? I don't think so.