Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Forgive and forget

I struggle with letting go when someone hurts me. I become such a child that I don't even recognize myself. Last weekend, someone (my husband) pointed that very fact out to me. Needless to say, I was not happy. I don't know where this comes from? Maybe something deep rooted in my past, but I don't like myself when I am ugly and want revenge.

While I was walking yesterday, I just thought over and over why do I do that? How can I stop doing that? What makes me so unforgiving? Why do I let that person bother me? My friends know that I will take and take until I have had enough, then I just loose it. Well that happened about a month ago with my neighbor, so I just wrote her off. Poof, she does not exist to me anymore. She is now telling my other neighbor that I am touched in the head? Great just what I need from the big white burrito woman. Of course my neighbor does not believe her and just tells me to laugh it off.

Seems everything she does aggravates me. I am on guard for her next attack and I can't stand myself for this. I am so sick of this mess. I can't move, so I just try to ignore her. What gives them the right to play their freakin tejano music so loud. It just annoys the hell out of me. I think it she is inconsiderate. My husband said "You are worse than her." What? Oh! Please say it ain't so. I could not believe he said that to me! Forgive and forget? I don't think so.

4 comments:

Dawn said...

I believe in forgiveness but I don't think it means you have to be friends. Some people are just too toxic to be around.
I forgive my mother in law for being a witch to me for years on end... but I cut her out of my life. She makes me feel terrible whenever I'm around her and I made the decision to surround myself with people who make me feel good... so forgive and forget is exactly what I did... You have to take care of yourself cause no one else is going to :)

BillyWarhol said...

Yeah I have a Tuff time letting Go too it's not EZ especially if U feel u've been wronged by somebody*

+ I'm no relation to Andy but he was a Huge Influence for me*

;)) Peace*

Finding Pam... said...

Dawn, thanks for reminding me about forgive and forget. It creates conflict in my heart. I will work on it.

Billy, thanks for stopping by and commenting. Your work is fantastic and did I say awsome,too?

Chickie said...

I can't say anything helpful here. I'm grudge-holder extraordinaire. If someone really hacks me off and I'm not feeling like thinking of revenge then I just forget that they exist.