For the last year, my darling husband has worked in another city and came home every other weekend if work did not keep him there. This has been so difficult for me as I am very attached to this man that I have been married to forever. I can see in the near future that we will be living in one domicile soon and that makes me very happy again.
Having him home is not always fun, but for the most part it is good to have him home. He is messy, leaves things about the house and sometimes drinks too much but it has been so nice to have my husband here. I just don't realize how much of a hermit I have become when my other half is not around. Some days, I go no where and do nothing. Pretty sad for a person that use to work all the time.
I miss the security of having him here and I depend on him too much. I don't like living alone, so I can't imagine life without him if anything ever happened to him. I miss his warm feet at night. I miss that little kiss when he comes home, I miss our little ritual when we say good-night. You don't think about the little ordinary things until you live without them.
So despite my holiday lack of cheer, I am so grateful and thankful for my dear husband. The holidays always get me down. It really depresses me in a sad, melancholy way. Some people come alive during the holidays and are grumpy curmudgeons the rest of the year. Well, I am the opposite, I am so happy through out the year and then I become sad, terribly sad during the holidays. So, I just wait it out until Jan 1st and then it passes until Mother's day comes. I am beginning to mark more and more holidays off my list.
I understand why people travel during the holidays. I miss my family. I don't want to be this way but I am. But that does not stop me from wishing everyone a Merry Christmas. " Have yourself a Merry Little Christmas."