Saturday, May 9, 2009

Mother's Day...

Mother's Day is another holiday that always gets to me because I no longer have my mother or my mother in law. You talk about contrast between the two mothers. My MIL could do anything, absolutely everything and all things. She was just a country girl that raised all of her siblings because her mother had died early in life. I believe there were twelve of them. Her daddy drank and all the responsibility fell to her. I really loved and admired her so very much. She was a home education teacher, but mostly a wife and home maker. She quietly went about her way in life and never forgot where she came. She was a fantastic cook, she sewed, gardened, kept a clean home and always stopped what ever she was doing to help you if you needed her help. Now my husband would say she was mean, but that is his opinion. I saw a very different woman. I miss her so much.

Then we get to my mother. Well, she was a character of sorts and not always a nice one. While I know my mother had some very good qualities, she also had her share of bad ones. I think my mother did not know how to be a mother, even though she had a wonderful mother, my grandmother. My mother had many husbands and many different careers. She started out in life as a housewife and all that sweet good stuff that goes with it. You know teaching Sunday school, church, cooking, coffee clatch with the neighbors. Soon though she would change to a woman. She never desired to be a wife or mother. While she had a highly developed sense of child in her, she was too selfish to be a mother. She wanted to be our sister instead of our mother. For all the bad she was also good, just not consistent. I loved my mother very much despite her alcoholism. I miss her still...you know I wonder if you ever get over missing your mother?

As for my grown children, I hope they realize just how much I love them and that I did the best I knew how to do as their mother. I am really proud of my DIL, as she has become a good mother, wife and woman. I love her like my own.

Happy Mother's day to everyone.

22 comments:

Thom said...

Excellent Post my friend. I don't think you ever get over missing your mother. So thank goodness for memories. I also love the part about your children and your DIL excellent my friend. I hope you have a great Mother's Day :) Aloha

Dr.John said...

What a good Mother's day post. It is interesting that your husband sees his mother differently than you do.
My sister and I see both our mother and father differently. It is almost like we had different parents.

bettygram said...

Have a Happy Mothers Day. Each person can be seen in different ways.
I miss my mother and mother-in-law too.

Dianne said...

a beautiful genuine Mother's Day post

Nessa said...

Happy Mother's Day to you. As parents, we always do only the best we can - the same for our own parents.

DeEtta said...

Tulips say "Mother's Day" more than any flower to me. Love tulips because they remind me of my mother, who had many. Awesome and heartfelt mother's day post. Brought tears to my eyes.

Happy Mother's Day to you.

Akelamalu said...

Happy Mothers Day to you. Mothers Day was in March here and whilst I missed my own Mother (she passed in 1988) I am lucky to still have my MIL who is a wonderful person and I love her dearly.

I too have two love DILs so I'm happy. :)

ramblingwoods.com said...

Wonderful post...Our mothers have a lot in common....

Dawn (Twisted Sister) said...

My Mom wasn't stellar either, but I miss her. You never stop being a child in that way... All we can do is remember as much of the good as we can and try to be the best mothers we can be... and I know you've done that.
Happy Mother's Day Pam!

Strawberry Girl said...

Ideally all of us would know how to be good mothers, be born with it. Some of us struggle more than others. I'm certainly glad to have gotten to know you mothering Pam, I wish you a Happy Mothers Day!! May it be a good one for you.

(ps-thanks for the comment on my post, I appreciate it.) :D

Mimi Lenox said...

What an honest and loving post.
Your descriptions of the two women and their roles and influence in your life. I have no doubt that you were an awesome mother. You have such a sweet spirit about you.
Happy Mother's Day, Pam.

Barbara(aka Layla) said...

Happy Mother's Day! Your mom sounds like a great woman.

Susanne said...

Happy Mother's Day to you too, Pam. This post was very touching to me, you remembering both your Mom and MIL. You have a sweet spirit.

wendy said...

A very excellent post. As per usualy I love the way you write.

Happy Mother's Day. I'm sure your children know you love them absolutely.

Sandee said...

I've not gotten over losing my mother. I don't think we really do get over losing them even if they were good or not so good mothers.

Big hug honey. :)

Russell said...

Very heart felt thoughts. Thanks for sharing. You do a wonderful job of painting word pictures as I could really see the people you were writing about. There is a lot of emotion in your words.

I really liked the tulips on this post. This color is not overly common but one I like a lot.

Take care.

The Things We Carried said...

I miss my mother. All she was and never could be.

wendy said...

Just checking in to see how you are doing .. . ?

Hope you are well and happy.

wendy said...

p.s. Well said "All We Carried".

I like that.

wendy said...

oops. The Things We Carried. :)

Chickie said...

Lovely post.

The thought of missing my Mom makes me cringe. I ask her to stay healthy so she will be with me for a looong time.

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