Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Father's Day

This day has always been difficult for me because my father left our mother and us for another woman. He replaced us with another family and children. I can't imagine what it would have been like to have a father around. I can't relate.

24 comments:

Akelamalu said...

That's so sad. :(


Father's Day here is in June I think.

Sandee said...

I'm so sorry Pam. I can't imagine.

Try to have a good day. Big hug. :)

Thom said...

I'm sorry to hear that Pam. But I try not to linger on the past and what if I try and look at the positive and just move on and be happy with what I've done and what I'm going to do.

Finding Pam said...

Akelamula, I just could not post this on Father's day, so I waited until now. It is June here too.

Finding Pam said...

Thanks Sandee, it is hard to imagine why he did not even want his children.

I am really OK with it because I do have a Heavenly Father that loves me unconditionally. I am blessed.

Dr.John said...

That is so very sad. Now is the time to forgive him and let go of the painful past.

Finding Pam said...

Thom, I have worked on it a long time, just sometimes it hits me up side the head.

I am happy with what I have done, just wished I had a real daddy that loved me.

What are you going to do? Let me guess...Who's my daddy? I hope it is another award. I really really love those awards. He he he!

lailani said...

Hugs and Smiles! I am glad you have the Heavenly Father, though sorry that you did not have a relationship (a familiar one as opposed to a non existent one)with your earlthy one.

"Annie" said...

Pam, I really don't know if this will help, but you're not alone.

It hurts like hell. Always remember, it is his loss, and his problem. I know it's hard, and my father caused me a lot of problem in my own relationships. It took me forever to get it through my head that it wasn't my fault.

For months, I waited for him to come home from my bedroom window...until I fell asleep there...finally, I had to stop sleeping at my childhood window...to leave behind...

I'm so sorry for what you went through...

On a different subject, my new friend, I love your Blogblast for Peace video. You did an excellent job.

A really big e-hug,

Annie

Chickie said...

I'm sorry, Pam. HE will never know what he missed.

Finding Pam said...

Lailani, I appreciate your comment. I have forgiven him, but every now ans then...I am reminded.

I hope all is well with you and your sweet family. :)

Finding Pam said...

Hi Dr. John, I did forgive him a long time ago. I sometime am painfully reminded of it.

I will do fine for a few years and then bam! I wish I could really let go of it for good.

Guess I need more counseling?

Finding Pam said...

Hey Annie, yeah, I have waited on the front steps forever for him to come and pick me up.

The sadest thing is that his wife did not let us know that he had died until four months after he died. That was pretty low and I don't understand how a father could do that to his kids.

I am sorry that you experienced a similar situation. There are lots of survivors out there.

On a different note, I did not make that video, I simply copied it from Mimi's blog. She is the creator of the this wonderful peaceglobe for peace. I hope you participate in it because it is awesome to be a part of a movement.

Thanks Annie for you support. :)
If you want to hear some of my story you can read my post titles bad memories of childhood. My blog started out as a way to vent my anger, but I have come to a different point in my life.

Finding Pam said...

Awh, Chickie, you are my friend and I love you for that! You made me feel better. Yes, he did miss out. :)

A Stitch In Thyme said...

I hear that Pam... gotta be hard. I go through the same thing every June 30th. every.

Hugs
Tammy

DeEtta said...

{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}} I can't even imagine but I can feel your pain.

Finding Pam said...

Hey Tammy, thanks for the hug, I really needed one. I know a lot of folks experience the same thing. I am sorry that you do too.

Nice to meet you and I will be back to your blog. Thank you for following me. I hope that you will join in the Queen's Meme and write a peaceglobe for Nov.5, 2009.
This is so very important to blog for peace. Hugs back to you.

Finding Pam said...

DeEtta, this is what I love about you. You are so understanding and compassionate. Thank you my dear friend. I felt that hug.

You life is such a testament to God. Now you know why I love your blog because your life is wonderful. You do the sort of family things I wished we had done as a child.

Have a blessed day. :)

Dawn (Twisted Sister) said...

Pam it will always be something you will wonder about. Some of us had fathers who stayed but in reality it would have been better if they hadn't. I like to think that things turn out the way they're supposed to... it makes it easier.
{Big HUGS}

Finding Pam said...

Dawn, your wisdom makes everything so clear. I appreciate those Hugs my friend.

If I could just let it go would bring so much peace to me. I want to believe that it's the way things are meant to be, but I still question it.

Still doesn't mean I have to like it. I just want to understand why. It is like beating my head against a brick wall with no results.

Ouch! That hurts.
Peace and love to you,
Pam

Mark said...

Never easy and one can never know all of the "whys".

Gail said...

Hi Pam,-

Thank you so much for stopping by my place. :-) Glad you went on the 'discovery walk'.

I was sorry to read your Dad left you all - :-( It is a loss that you have a right to grieve. And also, to honor because it is part of that which defined you - shaped you - and you are wonderful just as you are.

Love Gail
peace.....

Barbara(aka Layla) said...

I'm so sorry. When I was 15 my dad died and my best friends dad left her mom and sisters for another man. I know she suffered much more than I did. My heart hurts for you.

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