Saturday, July 23, 2011

Doll clothes for my grand daughter

Well...here she is. This little bear is sad because she has been hiding in the top of a closet for a long time. She is worn, but none the less loved, except all the kids grew up and she was left behind. This outfit is for my grand daughter's American Girl doll. It's been a real challenge for me to sew since I didn't have a doll to try the clothes on for fit. After finishing this outfit, I found this sad little bear and dressed her up in the new digs. I think I see her smiling. Awh...

I was afraid I wouldn't finish her in time for Ali's tenth birthday, so I've already sent her a card and a check. I will mail this next week. I hope she likes it.

I made her another shirt to go with the ensemble. After all a bear needs a change every now and then. See this little crochet turtle? It is similar to the one I had as a kid. You put a bar of soap in it and bath with it. I found this at a fair a while back. Then I forgot about it, found on one of my cleaning jags. Do any of you crochet these little cute turtles? I would like to have another one. Please let me know if you can help me out.

Well, that is about it for me. I was suppose to clean out our master bedroom closet. I've been clearing out and sorting stuff and organizing again. I'm glad I choose to have fun sewing, though it was hard at first 'cause my machine was still messed up. The underside stitching was a mess. I've fixed it now, but it sure gave me fits.

I hope you are surviving the heat. It's about to do me in. Hubs' garden has all but burned up. Today he plowed it all into the ground. Have a great weekend.

Sunday, July 17, 2011

On Being Me...

How do you forgive the brokenness of one's life? I'm relieving some difficult childhood memories right now. While I know God forgives me, why then do I not forgive myself? Part of me says "Let it go and another part of me says no one could forgive you. You are worthless." Old memories create a less than perfect self image. I carry on forward.

Self-hate is what I learned as a child. I'm not equipped to handle complements or any thing of that nature. It is reflective in my addiction for food. This last month I have gained weight at the thought of loosing my favorite addiction...food. I am looking for something to replace it with, but I've not found anything that comes close to satisfying my emotional needs that I get from food.

Food makes me feel safe, loved, full. Damn it. My head knows all of this, but it is hard to say good-bye to an old way of satiation. I am afraid to be thin. I know it's sick and I am working on a good solution to the problem. Right now...I am stopped by my own fear. I've hit a wall of sorts.

Through therapy,I remember the exact moment that I learned how to use food to block what I saw and heard as a kid. It is a moment I will never forget. From that moment, I replaced all the evil and mean that I saw in my life with my soul saving comfort food. I was blinded to everything else around me. Relieved to be (in my mind) taken away from the pain by food. You see some things a little girl should not have to witness .

I can't change any of that now. I'm trying to overcome these memories, accept them and use the tools I am learning in therapy to let go and start living my life. I never knew anything could be so hard. How long must I keep these secrets of the dead? And do I have to reveal these secrets in order to be healthy?

Tuesday, July 12, 2011

A stitch in time... sorta makes me crazy

When I spoke to my sister the other night, I ask her if she could hear me screaming? "What? What are you talking about,Pam?" I said I've been trying to sew... She laughed.





Photos courtesy of Photobucket

I come from a long line of women that sew. When I was a little girl, my grand mother taught me how to sew on her treadle sewing machine. She could mend anything by hand. Gosh, I even learned how to darn socks. I have to laugh now as I think of how I once mended my husband's socks. Of course now, I would just buy new ones. How times have changed for the better. My mother sewed all of our clothes, my sister sewed and then there was me. I did not inherit their talent for sewing. I do very little to get by enough to say that I sew.

Grand mother's hand sewing/mending reminds me of weaving or something very similar. She would cut a piece of fabric from the seam or hem and patch the tear. You could not tell where it was. To this day, I prefer mending and patching to sewing. In my younger days, I sewed curtains, pillows and some kids clothes. I have not sewn in a long time. Only a button sewn on every now and then.






So it surprised me when I wanted to sew a doll outfit for my grand daughter.

My tools of the trade...
I've used this, too.


I've been here...

Used this, too.



You see, my version of sewing is to tape it, staple it or glue it. In the floral business, it is the fastest way to get a temporary solution to a problem. I ironed my fabric, pinned down the pattern, then cut the pattern out. I thought I better do some test sewing before I started to make sure the machine and I knew what we were doing. I forgot how to thread the machine, so I pulled out the directions and familiarized myself once again with the machine. An hour and a half I start to sew. After I practiced all the different stitches I had to adjust the tension and stitch lenght. Now I am so frustrated that I don't want to sew.

I continue on. I made a cute little pheasant shirt for Ali's doll. It is not a great piece of sewing, but I can say that I did it. After all of the preparations, I can honestly say that it cost less to buy the doll an outfit rather than sew. You know me...it's all about the memory I am making. Of course my darling cats had to help me sew and get in the way. Argh! I can't ever do anything without them.





Patience is a virtue...
I forgot to say this most important thing... If you really like something then do not give it up or stop doing it. It is hard to start all over again. Besides you might say a few choice words if you have to start over again. Did you hear me scream?















Sunday, July 10, 2011

My wish for you as well

"This is my wish for you: Comfort on difficult days, smiles when sadness intrudes... rainbows to follow the clouds, laughter to kiss your lips, sunsets to warm your heart, hugs when spirits sag, beauty for your eyes to see, friendships to brighten your being, faith so that you can believe, confidence for when you are in doubt, courage to know yourself, patience to accept the truth, love to complete your life."

- Anonymous

Wednesday, July 6, 2011

416 Colquit Street


Yesterday, I met my sister, Candy, in Shreveport, La. for lunch on the river. We had a really good time talking. I have been on this genealogy kick as of late. So I ask her if she wanted to look for one of the places we lived in as children. That is Candy in the rear view mirror taking the picture. I'm just thinking I hope no one calls the cops because of us. We sort of stand out.

When our parents divorced, Candy stayed with Daddy and I went with Momma. This little duplex on Colquit St. was the fourth place I had lived in since I was three. We went from Daddy's house, to our grand mother's home, then to an apartment, then to this little duplex. Candy came to live with us in this duplex.

What you don't know is that by the time I graduated from high school, we moved 12 or 13 times from the time our mother and father divorced. Factor in several step-fathers and sugar daddy's, momma's boyfriends and you begin to understand what our childhood was like. While most of our childhood was filled with uncertainty, living here, we made some good memories.

I remember this street so well and this little duplex in which we lived in. Fifty-six years ago, I was five years old and it was a nice little neighborhood with the local elementary school at the end of the block and a Baptist church on the corner. While our mother worked, she had the good insight to hire a wonderful black woman named Ophelia to care for us. I have some safe and good memories of this little duplex because of Ophelia. She could barely get through the door and she was an older woman with a limp. That made no difference to me because I loved her dearly.

Ophelia had such a grand sense of humor. She would play along with us and pretend. Once we dressed our mother's sewing mannequin as if she were our mother. We even made a face and put on a hat. Then Ophelia would say "I see Miss Mary Lou has come in for lunch". She was delightful. I always wanted to go home with her when momma took her home.

Many a night Ophelia would spend the night with us when our mother was out partying. She would sleep on the couch by the front door. I felt safe knowing she was with us. And she was the best cook ever. Good country food. I loved her mac 'n cheese. She taught me a lot about life and my faith. Even though she had her own family to care for she always was there for us.

Once I got stuck in a tree. I remember her saying "Child, just let go and fall on my back". I was afraid that I would hurt her, but that is exactly what I did. She helped us chase our parakeet when he got out of his cage. We often lined up the dining room chairs like a train car and would pretend we were on a trip. We got into so much trouble, but Ophelia never got mad or upset. She had so much patience with us. She called us "Her girls".

She went with us to several houses that we lived in. I'm glad that I had her in my life. I think I may feel brave enough to go to all of the places that we lived in except for the one when we moved to Dallas and the one when we moved to Houston. I forgot about Houston. My journey continues. I have to tell you that we got some strange looks in the old neighborhood from the current neighbors. It is so run down now and looks different than when we lived there. The memory is crystal clear just like it was yesterday.

Monday, July 4, 2011

Happy Fourth of July!


I hope you are having a great Fourth of July. Leave me a comment and tell me how you are celebrating.

Sunday, July 3, 2011

Blog for Peace




It is time to be thinking about joining Mimi, our founder of the peace globe movement. If you are interested in creating a peace globe for peace please go to the link below. It is easy and fun to be a part of the peace globe movement.

Mimi is looking to reach out to new and former peace bloggers and would like to invite you to join her this November. Imagine a world filled with peace? What could we accomplish if we had World peace? As Mimi says "If words matters, then this is important". There are even worker bees that will gladly help you make your peace globe. In fact, a worker bee offered to help me with my peace globe. Travis, thank you again for helping me with my peace globe. I am looking for ideas again this year for my blog.

So don't be shy, don't be scared, don't be apathetic...just join us for World Peace. I'll see you this November.