Monday, October 6, 2008

I keep on wishing

Star light, star bright, I wish I may, I wish I might, have this wish I wish tonight. I must have wished that at least a thousand times when I was a little girl. No matter where I was, I always looked for it, the first star of the evening sky. Some wishes were silly, some not.

I wished for the Tinkerbell make up kit with lipstick, well that was one I never received. Most wishes were that my momma would get well and stop drinking. Now that I think about it, I don't recall any wish coming true.

For me, the most important part of that wish was the hope it gave me. I was so young and desperate for my life to change that I clung to any thing I thought would make my life better. Even though, I knew there was no Santa, tooth fairy, or the Easter bunny, I still hung on to that star and believed.

P.S. I would have really loved that Tinkerbell make up though!


Dawn said...

I used to wish all the time too. I guess the wishing was just a way of coping and imagining a better world for yourself.
I wanted Kerplunk... funny how that sticks in my mind... but there were too many kids and never enough money. My father drank many of his paychecks away.

My biggest wish though.. was that my mentally challenged sister would be normal. I still feel a little guilty about that. It wasn't her fault but I was just a kid and responsible for her and felt embarrassed by her behavior. But in the end it's just another lesson learned...

Finding Pam... said...

Dawn, are you sure we are not related? Ha Ha! My father was adopted in Illinois. May be we are just kindred spirits.

I am sad that you felt guilt about your sister. I know that was a lot of responsibility for a young girl to carry on her shoulders. Would your sister want you to feel guilt? I am guessing that you were twins and that something happened to her at birth?

I am sorry that your list was shorter than mine. You are a real blessing to all your friends and your blog buddies. They just love you!TTYL

Dawn said...

Not twins... but just a year apart. And yes she was fine until age two. She had a fever and convulsions that caused her brain damage.

You know I've made some really good friends here and I've slowed down the blogging because of this course I'm taking and I feel so bad when I don't get the time to check in on everyone :(

Finding Pam... said...

Dawn, thanks for sharing that with me. ((soft hugs))