Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Stop I want to get off this ride

Well, the first wave of family have come and gone and I am just barely hanging on by a thread. I have become a hermit in the last year and this has been a challenge for me to keep it together. My son and his wife, three kids and my daughter N law's little sister that they are raising are staying through the day after Thanksgiving. They took her 2twenty year old mentally challenged brother back to Louisiana to live. They have had him almost two years and he has been miseralbe the entire time. The two boys went to spend time with their Mimi and see their Dad for the weekend. It has been crazy. Finally, they are back and we start all over again.

I have cooked and cooked and can't seem to fill any body up. I did not realize kids ate so much. We have been riding our Rhino and having more fun. I love to go full throttle and feel the wind in my hair and face. It is just the greatest feelilng in the world. The kids went fishing on the pond, while my sister and I rode the Rhino. The leaves are beautiful and the kids and I made placemats from autumn leaves and wax paper. I can't believe that through the generations, the little ones still like to make those things. I know I like to spend the time with the little ones looking for just the right colored leaves. Spending time together, just a simple thing that means so very much to me.

Today, we cleaned the house in anticipation for the group that will arrive on Wednesday and Thursday. My sweet daughter N law made the corn bread for the dressing while the others helped with the housework. I am blessed, yes, very blessed. I am sad and happy, but none the less, it will be difficult to leave our home and move away.

I gave my chickens to a man and his wife from my church that I know they will take good care of them. I cried when my chickens left. We hurriedly signed the contract last Saturday and the realtor put the for sale sign in our yard. Wait a minute, it is all happening too fast. Stop! Am I the only one that feels the pain and sadness of the moment? My feelings keep getting in my way. It does not bother my husband that we are leaving our home of twenty-five years. Why can't I be less emotional about this move? What is it that is making me so upset. It feels like I am the only one that cares about our life in the wonderful home.

My son and his wife have chosen some furniture to take back with them to Colorado. Some how it all feels so surreal. Can this really be happening? I am so desperately trying to look forward to where I am going instead of looking backward at what I am leaving. It is not happening for me. After all the family leaves, and my husband goes back to the little town he works in and I have to clean all the mess up and get ready to have ladies from my garden club to my home for a Christmas luncheon. I have so much to do that my head is just swimming.

I still can't believe this is happening? I have Christmas china and crystal to wash, things to polish and my home to decorate for the holidays. I have to attend several parties and I have nothing to wear. Oh, and on top of this, I must keep my house spotless for strangers to view as a potential home for their families. It has begun and I can't get off. My friends are still in shock that we are leaving too. Maybe my next post will be more positive. I certainly hope so. In the mean time, I hope you all have a blessed Thanksgiving with family and friends.


Dr.John said...

Having moved twice in the last twelve years and having lived thirty years in the same place before that I feel for you. I hsated leaving the parsonage my kids grew up in but my wife was thrilled at finally having a house of her own.
But it will pass and life will go and it can be rich and wonderful.

Julie Adams said...

It sounds like your Thanksgiving week is filled with perfection. Don't worry about the future. Enjoy your time with family!

Finding Pam... said...

Dr.John, thank you for your words of inspiration. It is comforting to know that someone understands.

Hey Julie, thanks for finally commenting on my blog. Love you.

Akelamalu said...

We have lived in our present house for 29 years and I just can't imagine ever leaving it, so I can understand how you think everything is just going too fast!