Wednesday, February 18, 2009

My sister needs help

It would seem that I have had too many day trips. I had another road trip today. Actually anytime I leave my home is a road trip because we live so far away from anything! Somehow it messes up my daily schedule enough to throw me off kilter. Thus the lack of posts. I am visiting your blogs as much as I can. I have not forgotten my blogfriends.

Please keep my dear sister, Candy, in your prayers, thoughts, Reiku, just anything to help her.

She is in a deep blue funk and can not get out of it. She is my only sister and I hate to see how she is living right now. We have all helped her over the years, but it is never is the right help. You know the old saying "If money is your only problem, then you don't have any problems."

Not only does she have financial problems, but mental ones as well. My sister is a very well educated woman with two masters. She is so good with helping everyone else except herself. She is a social worker and has devoted her entire life to helping others. She is such a wonderful person. She just can not get a break as of late,

She is not working due to depression, and back problems. Her days and nights are opposite and her electric has been cutoff again. She stayed a few days with her son and his wife, which was not going very well. This afternoon they had a blow up with her, and her son took her home.

Her home is paid off, but she has lost just about everything else. All she has is food stamps to live on. She has been unemployed since last Sept. and the non profit agency she worked for did not file the paperwork in order for her to receive unemployment. She filled for disability two years ago and was denied. She can not keep a job and is sick and stressed all the time.

Three years ago, she tried to commit suicide twice that summer. She has been sick for so very long. She is a recovering alcholic and was addicted to pain pills. She detoxed three years ago, but she does not think like a normal person.

This is how our mother was except she repeatedly tried to kill herself. I don't know what else I can do for her, except keep praying. I love her so much. Please keep her in your prayers.


barefoot gardener said...

Oh, Pam. I am so sorry to hear your sister is not doing well. As much as it is hard for the folks who are sick, it must be just as hard for their loved ones to watch them struggle. I will be hoping for good things to come her way.

I know it's not my place to ask, but has she tried meds? Or therapy? I know paying for these things can be troublesome without a job, but I know some docs will give enough "samples" to get folks through tough times. Also, some med companies have programs to help folks get their meds cheap or free. If she is already on food stamps, the state or county might have counseling services available for her, as well. I know they do here in MN, but different places have different ways of doing things.

Again, I am so sorry to hear she is struggling so much. I will keep her (and you) in my thoughts.

lmerie said...

That is tough - for her and for you! Will remember you guys in my prayers!

Dawn (Twisted Sister) said...

I don't want to overstep my bounds... you are obviously very worried... but has your sister been diagnosed? Other than her addictions?
It's hard to watch her I know... painful because all you can do is support and pray. I think what's important is that she knows she has at least one soft place to fall... and I think that's you Pam.
I have a niece who is in a similar condition and even though her parents gave up on her years ago... I still keep contact and encourage her because no one... no matter how difficult they are deserves to be abandoned.
You are a good sister Pam.

Barbara(aka Layla) said...

Pam, thank you so much for sharing about your sister. I can understand her struggles, maybe not at the same depth, but I am well acquainted with depression. I will pray for her and also for you – its not easy to be the caring sister who sits by and watches, feeling helpless and heartbroken. I am glad she has you in her life.

Finding Pam said...

Sara, thanks for your comment. She has been on meds for years. She is well thought of in the community of mental health where she has worked for forty years.

She has been hospitalized many times over the last twenty years. She is a recovering alcholic and has been sober for well over twenty years. She is getting her meds through the local mental health assoc. I think she has tried everything.

Imerie, thanks for your comment and your prayers. Much appreciated.

Dawn, she has been diagnoised. I don't think her son and his wife understand the illness to the fullest degree. I think you are right to say she needs a soft place to fall. Your neice is lucky to have you.

Barbara, I appreciate your words of kindness. I am an action person and it is hard to not be an enabler. I have a different approch to problems from my sister. I think she is so down and alone that she can not see the forrest for the trees.

I ask permission to place her on our prayer list at church. I know that she will feel the love from all my friends. Just keep sending those prayers and good thoughts her way.

Thank you all so much for your support and kind words about my sister. I will tell her.

Anonymous said...

Oh Pam..I am so sorry..sometimes it takes repeated tries to get disability and those who need it most have the most trouble trying to get it..I don't know what to say, but I will keep her in my thoughts...Michelle

Strawberry Girl said...

Dear girl, that's hard to hear. My little sis. struggles as well. I found food, real food, to be my salvation and blog about it a lot. I was depressed until I found out my allergies (I used to mock the idea). I was even depressed as a child. My opinion, no meds, just real food. No refined foods, absolutely none because they mess with you. You can't tell untill you try it...

Finding Pam said...

Strawberry Girl, I so agree with you on the food and allergies. We are so far removed from our food source that seldom do we know from where it comes.

Thank you for stopping by and commenting. Oh and for following my blog as well. I am honored to have you as a friend and follower.

splashylady said...

I believe that those whom help others most are the ones whom need it most. In their desperate demonstrations through out life, of what seems like strength, you find nothing more than a paper tiger. God help us when we fall, your kept in prayer, all of you, hang in there. Blessings Dear Friend

Finding Pam said...

Thank you Pamela for the kind words. It's been awhile since you come by. Always glad to hear from you.

Sherry said...

Pam, I am so sorry to hear about your sister. Do you live near her?

It sounds like she has had life long struggles, yet she has given of herself for 40 years in the field of mental health. If she was turned down for disability, she needs to reapply.

I add my prayers to those that have commented, & pray for solutions to her seemingly, impossible situation.

Sandee (Comedy +) said...

I'll keep her in my prayers too.

Have a terrific weekend Pam. :)

Finding Pam said...

Sherry, thank you for commenting. After this last move, I am not too far away from her. She is a survivor as a lot of us are.

She is going to apply for disability again. I talked with her last night and we had a good talk about what to do.

Her son and his wife do not understand mental illness. I appreciate all prayers for her.

Sandee @Comedy+ thank you as well for the thoughts and prayers. I will probably go and get Candy next week and bring her here.

In these unsure times,it is conforting to hear the encouragement from all of you wonderful blog friends. You bring sunshine to the darkest day. Thanks and love to all.

Chickie said...

It's good that you are closer to her now. I know how hard it is to watch someone you love suffer.

She'll be in my thoughts.

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