Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Part Two...

In the Autumn of my freshman year, I met Doc. He was in my Spanish class and set in front of me with his room mate, Russell. I liked the man sitting next to him. He was tall, dark and handsome. You see that was Russell.

I had been sick and had gone to the doctor. I get a call from Doc Tannehill and I wonder why is the doctor calling me? I thought it was the infirmary doctor. I listened to him and then realized he was not the doctor.

He explained that he was in Spanish class with me. I got so excited because I thought this was the tall dark handsome guy in front of me. Once again, remember that I like tall dark and handsome men. I accepted the invitation for the date only to realize that Doc was not Russell. Doc was tall, blond and blue eyed and handsome for a man that was not my type. Mr. Not My Type would not work out so I thought.

On our first date, he took me flying. I had never been in a small aircraft and was somewhat scared. He ask me if I wanted to fly it. Doc said it was just like driving a car. Well, it wasn't!

He had fun stalling the plane and frightening me. It was late that day when he brought me back to my dorm. Pretty impressive first date. I did not know what to think of this blond haired man in a sport coat and a tie.

I told my room mate about him. She said "He would have to grow on me, and that I would marry him". What was she talking about? I was going to be an interior designer and I had not even thought of marriage. Little did I know that she would prove me wrong years later.

I did not let him kiss me for six weeks. Then when he did kiss me, well I sorta liked it. We grew closer and closer. He would walk me to my classes. That felt odd, but then again no one had ever walked me to my class before. All of a sudden we were a couple. Doc was very intense and that scared me. I had never been in a relationship like this before. We would fight all the time, break up and then get back together. It was not the sort of relationship I wanted.

We dated on and off for three and a half years. Constant bickering, then we would make up,mixed in with fighting and paronia. He was the jealous type, so was I, but not to the extent that he was. The next summer we broke up because he was going to Rome, Italy for a summer school program. I enjoyed my freedom, but being the good girl I was I never dated anyone. I heard all kinds of stories about Doc. How much fun he is having. I am OK with that. He seemed to enjoy the high life and rubbing it in.

Another year passes, then I go on the Tech Rome summer school trip. We break up. I am enjoying Italy because I am an art major. I stay unattached and hang with a group of friends. Thinking that our relationship is over for good. Doc started writing me and then calling me in Rome. He is sorry and begs forgiveness. Away from him I am strong, but he has a grip on me still. We are so young and silly. Sometimes you would do anything for love. I was caught in the strong arm of love and it would not let me go.

I had met a really neat guy before I went to Summer School and he and some friends wanted to drive me to New Orleans for my flight. This was the first nice guy I had met in a while. I just wanted to be friends, but he wanted more. It was the strangest return flight from Rome because my new friends were there to pick me up, but so was Doc. This was truely one of the worst days of my life. I had never been in such a predictment. What do I do? Do I go with my friends and the new guy or do I run back to the changed old boy friend? It broke my heart, but I went with Doc. Doc had changed. He had more confidence and knew what he wanted.

On the way back, we stopped at my new friends house to try to explain why I made the choice I did. We cried, he did not understand why I had made the decision that I had made. He did not understand that Doc and I had a long history and that I loved both of them. I loved him in a different way from Doc, but I still cared deeply.

So on the happiest and the sadest day of my life I chose the man that I thought would be the best man for me. Things were good for a while, then Doc started back with his old insecurities, smothering me with his doubt, his fears. Day after day he kept on and on. I was so co-dependant that I was afraid I had made the wrong choice. I had enough and left Doc for the final time.

This was not how love was suppose to be. This is not what I wanted. I can't breathe. I refused to take his calls and stayed in my dorm. I would see him coming and going from my dorm looking for me. Back in those days, men could not go above the living room reception area. I needed time to sort this all out. It wasn't long until my new friend called because he had heard that Doc and I broke up again.

I had to know if I had made the right choice. So I dated the new guy for a while. I found out that he was not really sincere about me. Maybe he just wanted to hurt me like I had hurt him. I don't know, but that friendship ended when I saw the real guy. He did not care about me at all. Now I am thinking that I have really blown it this time for good. Doc graduated and I heard he was dating again. I was alright with that because this was my choice and I would have to live with it.

By now, it is the fall quarter and I am back in school living with some new friends in an old house. I came down with the flu. I was so sick, and no one really helped me. Actually I don't remember very much about that time. Some how Doc found out and came to our house. He took me home to be with my family. I had strepe throat and Tonsellitis. I had to get a shot everyday. Doc went back to his home town. I could not believe that he did that for me.

It was soon after that we started seeing one another again. We had both grown up and put our childish ways aside. Doc was going in to the service and I took him to catch his buss. That was three days before Thanksgiving.