OK, so here is my dilemma. I have been working at this little gift and floral shop for over a year now. When I was hired, I thought I was to instruct others to learn how to design. In my mind I knew it was only temporary, but I don't think my boss heard me.
I am grateful, but I am also tired. We were short two people on Valentines' Day. I was the only designer and worked my tail off. I can't tell you how much pressure and stress that put on me. Remember that I have arthritis. Since that holiday, my RA has been acting up. Stress makes it worse.
Six weeks ago, I was leaving work and my knee just buckled. Pain like I have never experienced. I go to the doctor and he gives me crutches, he sends me for a MRI and tells me to stay off my feet. The MRI looked pretty good for my knee. Of course the doctors wanted to operate because there is arthritis, but I decided to try another route. Chiropractic care and it is working wonderfully well for my knee. Three times a week for how long? I am not sure, but I am not in as much pain. Maybe 60% better.
So far so good, until last week. My boss and her mother are going to market in Dallas. They ask me if I can work. Being the people pleaser I am, and being a former owner of a flower shop, I know just how hard it is to keep the doors open. Therefore, I decide to work. It seems that my knee is not rehabbed and unfortunately I know it all too well.
Last week I explained to my boss' aunt and she completely understands it. She is part time and drives an hour to get to work. This is a family owned business. I am such a weenie and I will do everything I can to help them even at my own expense. I don't have to work, but I like it, so I do work.
So many other things that I want to do keeps running in my head. I really want to quit, but they don't have a designer. I need to take care of myself, my HUBS and my family. I want to do other things for a while. I want to have a slower paced life. I am burned out.
My friends and my sister all agree that I should quit because I can't handle the stress anymore. I was fine until Valentines' Day and until my knee went out. My mother died at 65 years of age and I am approaching sixty in April. I think it is time I took care of me.
I have to sound it out and give myself permission to quit work. Why am I such a weenie and why do I feel like I am letting them down?