Sunday, February 5, 2012


Sorry about publishing this without the post.

This week, I took Candy back to the doctor for her one month post check up. I ask the doctor a few questions and also busted her.

Candy is now at day 54 of no smoking. The doctor applauds her.

Coyly... she ask if she can exercise and the doc says you should have been walking for 30 to 50 minutes a day, five days a week. Really?

Duh...I've been telling her that for a month. It's in her post surgery notes from her doctor. Candy acts so surprised. It is just so hard to get her up and going in the morning, in the day time and at night.

You know she is a Gemini and I am learning some truths about her. Here are some of her excuses.

Candy, does the doctor want you to stop diet drinks? "It's OK." The doctor says "No."
Candy, does the doctor want you to stay in bed all day? "But, I don't feel good."
Candy, does the doctor want you to eat a heart healthy diet? "Well...I suppose."
Candy, does the doctor want you to stay up all night? "I can't help that I don't sleep"

I ask the doctor to get her a dietitian to help her with her food and portion sizes. He orders it. Driving home... I told her no more waiting on her. If she really needed it I would still help her because that is who I am.

I know I have had excuses in the past, and I know we all have done the same thing. But I hope she does take this time to better herself and not fall into her old patterns of helplessness.

Tomorrow, I am driving her home for a few days so she can attend her granddaughter's birthday.
I know that will inspire her. Yeah! I get a few days to myself. Believe me I need it. We been running through different scenarios and how she should respond to them in regards to her DIL.
I hope the DIL behaves.

I realize there are givers and takers in this World... even with sisters. I am going with her to her therapist tomorrow. Should I speak up or keep my big mouth shut? As frustrated as I am I don't want to hurt her in any way. I've been so outspoken. She reminds me of our mother. I wonder how we both came from the same mother. All I can it is what it is...and I'm OK with it.


Gail said...

sending good thoughts
love gail

Sandee said...

People do what people do. You can talk and talk, but in the end they will do what they want to do. Often at the expense of their health.

Have a terrific day Pam. Big hug. :)

Finding Pam said...

Gail, thank you my dear. I'm sending them back to you as well.

Peace and Love,

Sandee, You are so very right. No matter how much I wish this for my sister, it will have to come from her.

Just Be Real said...

I have learned a long time ago you cannot change people's hearts. They have to do it for themselves when they are ready. Safe hugs to you dear one.

DeEtta said...

Since everybody said what I was going to say I will send {{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}, prayers, and thoughts your way.
Lots of love!

Akelamalu said...

You need to wean your sister off needing you to do everything - that's the right thing to do. Good luck with it, be strong and firm. x

Sandi McBride said...

Pam you are a wonderfull sister...don' let her get away with a thing...maybe try doing it with sharing this post with her...let her see herself as being strong enough to take on the world even though whe may need an arm to hold onto every once in a while...teach her to smile, it makes recovery from any ailment, real or imagined, so much easier...
hugs and enjoy your "self time"

CJ said...

Sorry you are still having problems with Candy. At some point she's going to have to take responsibility of her actions. You can only do so much for her. I am now finding this out the hard way when dealing with Dylan. It's hard to make someone accountable for their actions when it's someone you love. I will continue to pray for her and you as well. Love you!

Anonymous said...

Everyone has said whatever I could possibly say. Letting go isn't easy is it? (Big Hugs)

Xmichra said...

I agree with all above, and hope that the session went well the other day.


Debra said...

These situations can be so very difficult. Just do what you believe in your heart is the right thing to do. And even when we do that we will sometimes have regrets, but it is all we can do.

So sorry your having these difficulties. Blessings and hugs to you my friend!

Sarah (Nikki) said...

Yeah 54. They say if you go 30 days without doing the got it licked. Praying. Have a great day Pam.....