As you all know by now, I'm having a bit of a time with all of the stress of my sister and my Hubs retiring due to a layoff. You have followed me through a heart attack scare, a stress test, diverticulitis, not sleeping, unbearable pain, just to name a few of the things I've been dealing with. The worst symptom is feeling like I am going to loose it and have a panic attack. This has been going on for 2 1/2 months. I felt like I couldn't breath, swallow, relax. Nothing taste right, I felt nauseous, and a lot of other symptoms. I have been a mess.
I've had little results from my family doctor, he doesn't think I am depressed even though I think I am, and have told him so, he refuses to change my medicine. It finally occurred to me that I am in charge of my own well being. I don't have to stay with a doctor that won't listen to me or try to help.
This change all started with how lonely I am most days. I am a very social person. I decided to join my garden club in my former town. I've been going for two months and it was one of the best things I have done for myself. I really missed all of my friends and they missed me. I have returned to church, which feels good.
I can finally see again because I got new glasses. I have been so worried about insurance. We purchased one insurance only to find that it was not what it represented, so we cancelled. Then we tried Cobra, all sounds good until they want three months of of back premiums. Good grief, insurance is such a ripoff. Needless to say we cancelled Cobra. Back to the search for reasonable insurance. Of course Diabetes is not covered. Neither are most of my illnesses due to a pre-exhisting conditions. Thankfully, our local pharmacy gives us a reasonable price for our meds. The PA's visit is also reasonable.
I am so tired of the medical system ripping me off. I can't believe how much specialists charge. Today, I went back to our local clinic and saw a new PA, Carson. She sat and listened to me for a long time. After explaining all that I had been through, she changed some medicines and added celexa back. We had a good talk about everything. I won't go into all of the details, but she listened to me. She understands my situation with insurance. Hubs goes on Medicare next February, but I have a couple of years til I qualify.
So for the first time in a while, I feel hopeful. I have to tell you that it is a good feeling.
You shouldn't believe everything you tell yourself. FEELINGS aren't FACTS.
9 comments:
I'm glad you found a new doctor. If you doctor won't listen to you then you have the wrong doctor. Plain and simple.
I hope things level out for you and you can feel better. You've been through so much. Big hugs. :)
HI PAM - hope is good, yes, good indeed and I am glad u found a PA, Carson, that listened to you, really listened - some times that is better than medication! :-)
If I may, I would like to share with you some info on panic-attacks. In my work with recovering addicts and those with mental health disorders I facilitated groups and treated privately ways to reduce, lessen and control anxiety-panic attacks.
These are basic facts, physiologically sound and effective.
1- about blood oxygen. If the oxygen levels in your blood are low you can feel anxious, jittery, sweaty, weak, have trouble breathing and so forth - people who are prone to anxiety tend to take shallow breaths which lowers oxygen levels. So, it is important that you breathe correctly - and do this exercise every hour. Breathe in through your nose to the count of 8 and out through your mouth to the count of 4. Do this atleast three times. Be aware of your body and when u feel a slight tingly feeling that means u r fully oxygenated.
2- blood sugars. If your blood sugars are low you will feel anxious, sweaty, jittery and so forth. People who are stressed and anxious tend to use up their blood sugars quickly so a comoplex carbohydrate every two (2) hours will keep your blood sugars even. Something small like 2 p-nut butter crackers or 1/2 granola bar will suffice in between balanced meals. SO if ur blood oxygen and blood sugars are even you will reduce you anxiety in half.
There are other techniques but these are critical. Hope it helps.I/we are very busy - not sure if u read my blog - my Mom passed away in JUly. I miss her terribly. ANd we are in the process of moving - so lots going on here as well as all the emotional whirlwinds from all the loss and changes. If u read my last few blog posts u will catch up.
Love Gail
peace.....
(((hugs))) I'm glad that someone finally took the time to listen! I hope it goes well (and I agree about insurance!)
Oh my Pam..I thought I was reading a history of my medical woes for a bit...diverticulosis, check, heart attack check, (trip bypass) diabetes check...rheumatoid arthritis, yep...recently had surgery on my left ankle because RA had destroyed it...but you know what? I survived it, and so will you. Just pull yourself up and get out there and socialize again, I promise it gets better!!! Wish I could give you a warm hug...oh heck, here it is
((huggggg))
Sandi
I'm glad to hear things are looking up for you Pam. I know how lucky we are here to have the NHS, we don't have to worry at all about healthcare, that in itself must be so stressful for you.
We really need health care reform in this country. That will do away with the pre-existing conditions clauses that make it impossible to get insured. I guarantee, the first claim you put forth with anything else that was pre-existing would have been declined, too.
Celexa should help with the anxiety.
Your 1st mitten is mostly done, and it's beautiful!
Hugs to you. Glad you're finding hope.
Safe hugs to you dear one.
We have so much in common. I take Celexa and I swear it has saved my sanity. I tried to wean myself off it this past month (because they say not to stop any medication like thta cold turkey). As you saw it did not work. I did nothing all month but mope and feel bad about myself. After just a few days of being back on them, I am much better.
The main reason I didn't go back to work after the transplant was because I would lose my medicare. I cannot afford insurance and at least medicare pays for my meds. The two anti rejection pills alone are over $1000 a month.
Hang in there, and feel better soon.
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