The Queen's Meme # 72~ Return To Sender

Welcome to The Queen's Meme #72
I've been on a short hiatus due to illness but glad to be back! Now that I've returned, let's talk about returns. Why not? I'll bet you have a lot to say about that. I know I do!

1. When is the last time you returned a library book?

I returned a library book about five years ago. We don't have a library in the woods where we live. I google a lot of things and I use my Kindle for reading.

2. Is there anyone you'd like to see return to your life?

As in return from the dead?

3. Have you finished your income tax return?

No, I am still waiting on family tax info from Louisiana.

4. Do you ever return things to the store for refund, credit or exchange? Have you had a bad experience with customer service over this issue? Tell us your story.

I rarely exchange or return anything for me. I am a really good shopper. For Hubs it is a different story.

5. You would like to see your favorite movie named The Return of Meet Joe Black. I cry every time I watch this movie.

6. Is there something you're still waiting to be returned to you?

If I am still waiting on them to return something, then I doubt if I will get it back now.

7. You are in a canyon. On the other side stands your beloved. You stand and shout something to him/her making a large echo. What do you want to hear in return?


"I love you!"


8. If you could turn back and go in the reverse direction in your life, making things better for yourself and those you love, how would your journey begin?

I seriously doubt if I would want to turn back time. I like my life the way it is now.

Gun safety class

Today was my first ever gun safety class. I admit I am scared to death of guns mainly because I never was around them as a child. Of course, my Hubs is lover and has all kinds of guns. From pistols to AR automatics. Needless to say he is prepared for the invasion, when the zombies attack. As our oldest son likes to say "When the zombies are eating your brains out you will wish you had more fire power".



Here are some pictures of hand guns that I shot today. I hope I have the right name with the right gun. It was overwhelming to say the least , but by the time I finished the class, I was not afraid of the loud noises. That is what frightens me the most.

22 automatic
22 pistol

Colt 45 1911




Ruger LCP

9 mm glock

I have never seen this many guns before in my life.

Really?

I always say that I could do more damage with a rolling pin.

Now I am not so sure.

And I shot this big boy last.

Awesome!

44 magnum

I learned so much about hand guns. Safety rules, types of hand guns,hand gun cartridge power charts, Guide lines for handgun accuracy, good grips versus bad grips,shooting errors,responsiblity for the bullet once it leaves my gun, loading the magazine, standing position, and loads more that I can't remember.

A good night's sleep

It's amazing what a good night's sleep will do for you. I have had some trouble getting to sleep, but alas, I am sleeping. And I am thankful, very thankful indeed for sleep. I started using my ear plugs again because I am a light sleeper. Hubs sometimes snores even with his Bi-Pap machine. Cats meow in the middle of the night, my dogs bark at every little thing and then there is the light from the windows that inhibits my sleep, especially when it is a full moon.

Yes, I admit it, I am a light sleeper. Sort of a princess and the pea kind of girl. Everything needs to be just right for me to fall asleep. No noise, no light, a cool bedroom (temperature that is) soft sheets, just right pillow, prayers said and then off to a night of blissful sleep. The planets line up and the ocean's tide must all be aligned for a restful sleep. Not really, but sometimes it feels like that to me.

I am hopeful that my sleep deprivation will succumb to a restful night's somber sleep. Yesterday was the first time in weeks that I felt really good. Blood sugar in control really makes a difference. A good night's sleep makes an even bigger difference. I did something that I have been dreading to do for a while. I cleaned house. After forty years of cleaning our home, not to mention keeping our childhood home clean, I am just tired of cleaning. There are only so many ways I can make cleaning fun or pretend it is fun.

I do love the end results. Everything spic and span, rightfully in its place, order and a clean house makes me happy. I know I am strange like that, but what I arrive from it is a sense of peace and calmness. It is my way of keeping control of things. Ooh, that is a bad thing, but it is who I am.

I started in the kitchen clearing Hub's clutter off every counter top. He just loves to keep his things out of order. I have to prod him every now and then to pick up his stuff. As I clean, I remember why I like to clean. I am one of those persons that likes order not chaos. I think everything should have a place. I sometimes succeed and sometimes I don't, but that is what I strive for. I struggle why people don't put things back in its place. To each his own, but my own is created from order and cleanliness.

I swept, vacuumed, mop, dusted, folded clothes, cleaned the master bathroom, straightened up, put away, and even cooked supper and did all the dishes as well. My heart sings a happy song from this house work. I hope today will be as fruitful as yesterday. I made out my list of things to do. I am just going to take it one chore at a time to get the rest of the house in order. I know it sounds like my house is a total mess, it is not a huge mess, but in my mind I am not happy with it.

Our oldest son, his wife and family are moving to Montgomery, Alabama later in March. They will be here on or about the 19Th of March from Colorado Springs, Co. It is time for Spring cleaning before they come. Time to freshen up the guest bedrooms and finish organizing things left undone.

All I can say is thank you for listening to me drone on about my sleep problems. I really appreciate your comments, support, prayers and love. I do believe that is what keeps me going. Thank you for stopping by today. Have a wonderful day.

Random thoughts in the night

Here it's 2:40 in the morning and I am not asleep yet. I got up and decided to re-arrange my cabinet that holds my everyday dishes. This cabinet is not good for a pretty display and after two years I felt like I could take this on. Of course I am too short to reach into the top cabinet and I have to retrive the step ladder. I like for things to be displayed in a beautiful way.

It is odd what I can find to do in the middle of the night. After arranging it some what to a better look, I went on to play solitaire a while, then on to reading email, other blogs and now to writing. Tick tock goes the clock. Nothing is worse than not sleeping. I know many of you don't sleep as well. I agonize with you.

I did take a melatonin because the new medicine has not taken effect yet. I think it may have to build up in my system. Thankfully, I am getting sleepy now.

All I need is some sleep.

Some days it takes a lot of energy just to be me. With being sick with this head cold, working crazy at Valentines Day and not sleeping, I have been out of sorts with myself lately. I haven't slept since I stopped taking medicine for my RLS. It might not have helped that much with the RLS, but at least I did sleep some.

For the past three months I have functioned on very little sleep, maybe three to four hours of sleep. It has taken its toll on me because I find myself agitated and sleepy and well grumpy. I can't stand to be grumpy. No body likes to be around a grump.

Today at my doctor's visit, I told him about what was going on with me. During therapy, I also addressed this issue with my therapist. She said just tell him what you have told me today. So, today I decided to say something. I started with the nurse. She ask "How are you doing? and I said I've been a little blue and I don't know why?" The nurse proceeds to continue her check of my vitals and I tell her that I have never really slept because of my childhood. I use to wet the bed and would get beat with a belt. At seven, I had major surgery to correct a defective bladder neck, I still wet the bed and I still got beat.

I have told you this all before, first time I have told my new doctor. I was afraid he might give me some platitudes about rising early and going to sleep early, but no he didn't. I was astonished by his compassion. He said he could see it in my eyes. I teared up, he explained this vicious cycle to me. No sleep equals no rest, no healing of your body, no healing of your mind, equals more depression. Chronic insomnia equals bad things all around. I am so tired that I can barely keep my head up, but I learned something about my new doctor. He cares.

I ask him if my therapist had called him, he said "no". I was amazed that he picked up on this and I did not have to go into a lot of details about my life. I don't trust doctors, but this one assured me that there weren't many doctors he trusted either. I mention the RA and we talk. I tell him I try not to think about the pain because even after seeing two RA specialist, I am in denial about it.

He wants to test me again for the RA. I agree after listening to his talk about it. I really don't know if it is RA because one doctor said yes and treated me accordingly and the second doctor said I was in remission. My family doctor says that you never go into remission with RA. If it is not RA then it maybe a connective tissue problem. I let them take some of my blood. We'll see what they find out. At any rate, I am feeling more and more competent with my new doctor.

I always dread explaining myself to a new physician. Hoping that he won't think less of me. Why I care I don't even know. He knows my therapist and respects her highly. I hope that my numbers have gone down from the new meds I have been taking for the high triglycerides and cholesterol. I hope that my number is good for my diabetes. It scares me a bit to think that my body is not co-operating with my mind. In the mean time, my doctor has put me on a tried and true medicine. The side effects are sleep. I have been on this medicine years ago for depression, not for sleep. I know it works because I would fall asleep so fast. I am looking forward to some sweet dreams and lots of rest.

Believe it or not I am making some head way in therapy. I am my own worst enemy. I stop myself dead in my tracks when it involves success or achievement. Even compliments are hard to accept as I don't want any attention drawn to me. I want to remain invisible by choice. Can you see how blogging is really good for my soul. I share more with you guys than I do my own family. Of course about now, you are probably wishing I didn't share so much with all of you.

A time to live and a time to die

What a week it has been. My DIL drove down last week in that horrible snow storm that covered the nation down to Louisiana. Her dad, who has been in a nursing home for a few years, had a heart attack, they revived him twice only to leave him brain dead. Why would they resuscitate him twice when he has a DNR on his charts. By the time Cj and her sister made it home to Louisiana, they had to make the decision to unplug their dad. I can't even imagine how difficult a decision this was for her.

A lot of her family members were giving her a lot of grief about that decision. She weighed out what the doctors said, listened to her three siblings, her uncle and aunt and made what was the best decision for their dad. Thankfully, he passed within ten minutes. Still it is dramatic to be the one in charge of such a fateful and final decision. She longs not to be the strong one, but I tell her there is a reason for her strength. Better her than one of her siblings? I think she knows I am right.

On Tuesday, I drive to Louisiana for her dad's funeral. My sister drives from her town and meets us there. The one thing I remember when our mother died was the kindness of people that came to her grave side services. No one really new our mother because she had just moved to my town from Florida. We did not run her obit in the paper before because of the time constraints. That weekend two young boys were killed in a car wreck. I had my flower shop and we worked on all of their funeral flowers all day.

My best friend did my mother's flowers and later that day I left to go and attend my mother's funeral and then drive to Louisiana for her graveside service. While there weren't many folks there the ones that came made a difference. I returned home just in time to deliver the flowers for the two boys services. There was no time to grieve. That is just how it was. I never took any time off. I was glad that I had work to distract my thoughts, but it was hard not to let my emotions run away with those sad thoughts.

I cried for a full year. Everyday...I went to sleep crying, woke up crying and cried a whole river of tears. I cried at work, I cried when I had to make deliveries to the same hospital that she died in, I cried on every holiday. I never knew loosing my mother would hurt so much. Nothing in life prepares you for this. Nothing at all.

My DIL and her sister stayed with us the last two days before heading back to Colorado. Even though I was still sick, I know she appreciated my attendance at the funeral as well as my sister's. I can never keep a gift so I gave her all of the gifts I had been collecting for her and our son. I think that cheered her up. We went to the flower shop where I work and we bought a few more gifts. They headed back to Colorado on Thursday and made it in record time. I know she was missing her family.

That has been my week so far. I am still coughing and hacking up all this stuff in my head. I worked Friday and will go in today to finish up Valentine's orders. Then work tomorrow. Did I tell you that I am not a fan of Valentine's Day? Thank goodness it just comes once a year. I call it torture your local florist day. LOL! I will survive, but I will be stiff and sore from all of the standing.

I wish you kindness and much love.
I can't believe I am going to say this, but...Happy Valentine's Day.

Snow day

This is a shot of our snow taken three days later. It is not going anywhere anytime soon.

I have been sick with an awful head cold. I am just now starting to feel better so I took some pictures of Baby and the cats. She is so adorable and so much fun to watch. This is her new perch by my computer.

Cross eyed, but cute.

Did I tell you she has mad skills at Solitaire.

Stinky sleeping as usual and Baby watching me play Solitaire.

She tracks the cursor and loves to watch all the cards fall down when I win.

Doc holding her while she bites him. See the cat scratches on his hands? She thinks he is her toy

Bruno in the fore ground, Stinky sleeping and Baby. They are keeping me occupied while I am down with this cold.

She is the cutest little cat. My dogs still don't know what to think of her.

I hope you have a good weekend.

Award from Sandee

From Sandee @ Comedy Plus. "I've never started an award before, but I found this wonderful graphic on IncrediMail and just thought of how true this rings right here on the Internet. We are all so different, but we visit each other almost everyday. We laugh, cry, hug and support each other through thick and thin. We are a great big family of great friends and I just want to say to all my regulars that I appreciate each and every one of you very much. That being said I am giving each of you this Best Friends award for being so very special to me. Everyone in my buddies, link exchange and my drops lists may have this award.

Sandee is the nicest person. You can go and read her funny blog at http://comedyplus.blogspot.com/


So if you like awards then do up a post, link to this blog post and pass the love along. Thank you to all the 'Best friends No matter what...' I have made over the years. Hugs."

I don't think I can add anymore to what Sandee has already added. So please accept this lovely award to all of my wonderful bloggy friends and freely pass it on.