Let There Be Peace

It is not too late to participate in the peace globe movement. If you need help go to Mimi's blog and she will find a worker bee to help you design your Peace globe.

Mimi's http://peaceglobegallery.blogspot.com/





You go to Mimi's blog and get one of these and then you copy and paste. If you are like me I needed help to complete my globe. Don't worry busy bees are on the stand by to help you create your globe.

Letting go is never easy

I was thinking the other day, how I have finally let go of my former town that we lived in and raised our children in. Our lives were there. Thirty years of our lives were there. Some how my heart is no longer there and I am finally OK with that. I do not feel connected there any more. Of course my best friends are still there, but I talk with them weekly.

I have made roots in this little town of Panola, and Waskom. It has been a welcomed surprise to wake up and know that it is all good. I am going to this small church and am so thankful that I feel at home there. So it seems that God has worked on me without me even knowing it. I am so grateful. I moved my membership from my former church and joined Bethel U.M.C. I think I made a good choice. The people are mostly older, but I have always enjoyed older folks. There are about 50 people that come on a regular basis, but there are 175 on the roles. The congregation was so very welcoming to me and I really like them all.

Last week I worked a little bit at the shop that I previously worked at before injuring my knee. I enjoyed seeing my friends there. I will work maybe one day a week on an as needed basis. This week I will be making cemetery saddles and then gift baskets for the holidays. It is so difficult for me to stay retired. It gets so monotonous doing the same thing every day. Do you ever feel that way?

It feels like it has taken me forever to plant my feet and start living my new life here. Doc has work and he doesn't really do the things I do. He likes to garden and generally be outside. Men are so different from women. I on the other hand like to volunteer, work part time and meet people. I never meet a stranger. So today, I am feeling extra blessed that I could let go of my former home, friends and church and look forward to the future.


I can't thank you all enough for listening to me these last two years or so. I know that I would not have made it if not for my blogging buddies. You will never know how much your presence has meant to me. I know you will be glad not to hear me whine so much about being unhappy.


It is with great joy that I announce that I have found my JOY again. I hope I don't loose it for a long, long time. I think my therapist will be stunned at the progress I have made in my life.

The Man With The Steel Plate

When I was in middle school, I walked home from school about 5 miles with my French horn in it's case. I walked every where in those days. The town was large and I guess around 100,000 people. Different neighborhoods and different people. It was a very diverse town as was our neighborhood. In those days it was a real neighborhood with a school, churches, grocery store, drug store, gas station, movie theater and restaurants.

But in my neighborhood there was a park where this man use to hang out. I worked at the drug store as a soda fountain jerk. Sometimes he would come in to drugstore. He was different, and we all heard the scary stories about him. We called him Steel Plate Man. He was a veteran and had part of his brain blown away and the doctors put a steel plate in his head. He looked different in a creepy way. I had never seen anyone like him before. He seemed troubled, but I did not fear him.

Anyway back to my story, I would walk home and when I arrived to the park it was shorter to cut through the park than to walk around the entire block. Steel Plate Man was always there. He sat in the covered pavilion where the rest rooms were. I would just hurriedly walk as fast as I could to get out of the park. In the afternoon, the park was very dark and shaded from the trees. It did not feel safe there on some days. I can't explain it, just a feeling I would get. On those days that I did not feel safe, I would walk the longer way home to stay safe. I lived two blocks from that park and I knew if I could just get home I could lock the door and wait until my mother got home from work or my sister got home from high school.

Once a car full of boys followed me and even drove into the park to try to get me. I have never been so afraid. They were calling out to me to come to the car, but I kept on walking. My P.E. teacher lived on the edge of the back side of the park and I ran as fast as I could to her house. She calmed me down, and drove me and my French horn home. This was how life was in the city I grew up in. You always kept your eyes on the street and watched out for trouble in certain areas.

From middle school, the walk was nice until I got to the park. I still get the creeps when I think of how lucky I was not to be molested or killed by these crazy people. I did have a vivid imagination and that did not help one bit. My best friend and I would go to the park or to the drug store. It was odd how we knew the people to stay away from. How we knew I am not sure, but I am glad we did. We walked every where from church to the State Fair.

It would be years later, that I found out that the man with the steel plate had committed suicide in that park. I really felt sorry for him.

We are watching you

Looking at this picture, you would think that our critters never eat. They are certainly trying to get Doc's attention. The reason they sit in front of him is because they know he will feed them a bite. Big bunch of beggars!

The dogs and Bruno do this to Doc only, they know I won't give in to them. OK, well maybe a pretzel every now and then. My cat, Stinky, is too polite to beg like this and besides she is asleep in her little cat box.

That's about all I know right now. I hope you have a wonderful weekend.

Rocks and shells make me smile

Forgive my messy table, but that's how it looks sometimes.
Bruno has to share everything with me.

I don't know why he does this,I guess he is just curious.

Or else nosey.

My friend, Dawn, sent me these lovely rocks and shells

http://aurorastears.blogspot.com/

The shells and rocks are enclosed in these lovely sheer bags.

That is a nice way to present them.

I wish you could see just how beautiful the colors are in the rocks.

Some are light green and others are darker.

Did I tell you I have a thing for rocks and shells?

I've been collecting them for a long time.

Thank you Dawn for these beautiful keepsakes from you and your beach.

For more information about Newfoundland click on this site.

http://www.heritage.nf.ca/home.html

The Queen's Meme # 57~ The Threes Meme

The Queen's Meme #57 ~
The Threes Meme



Welcome to The Queen's Meme #57.
We're talking THREES. Answer these questions all having to do with the number 3. I predict this meme will take about 3 minutes to do.
Of course I could be wrong.
It's been known to happen.
And watch out! Question #3 is a doozy.

3. Where were you 3 hours ago?

Three hours ago I was in a wonderful peaceful state of sleep.


3. Is there anything pink within 3 feet of you?

Do you even have to ask? I adore pink in every shade.

3. Name the 3 scariest places in the world.

The three scariest places in the world would be deep with in the caverns of my mind, deep with in the darkest room in my house, my closet, and last but not least my exercise/craft room.

3. Name the 3 loveliest sights you've seen lately.

The deer, my dogs playing and the beautiful falling leaves in the yard.


3. Name the top 3 Bands in the year you were born.

Miles Davis, Duke Ellington, and Lawrence Welk

3. Walk to your front door. Go outside and get in your car. Drive 3 miles East. Describe 3 things you saw on your way.

If I drive three miles East you will see some cows, little country roads with lots of shady trees and oil wells. This is east Texas after all.

3. I, Queen Mimi, have sentenced you to a 3-day diet of your most sinful cravings.
What will you be partaking?

That would be Mexican food, sugar cookies and chocolate. Have you been spying on me?

3. Go back to question #3. Change the first word to "travel" and let me know if you survived.
I'll hold a room for you in the dungeon in the meantime.

Now my Queen that does not make very much sense to me. Is this a trick question?

3. If you are the 3rd person to do this meme and sign the Mr. Linky as #3 you win a prize! The prize is you don't have to do this meme. Oops. **Don't you know you should always read all the instructions/questions FIRST??**

I always forgot to read the instructions when I was a little kid because I was in a hurry.

Snake!

This little snake was outside my back door hiding underneath the door mat. I saw one of these Glossy snakes down in the carport on the trellis a few weeks ago, then we saw another one on the lower deck. Pretty sneaky snake. I was about to straighten up the door mat when I saw him.

He is a pretty snake as far as snakes go

I love his bandit mask across his eyes.

After inspecting him and getting these photos, Doc let him go down by the pond.

Here is what I did today...

I woke up this morning and decided that what I wanted to do most was create cards and scrap book. Here is a sampling of my efforts. While they are not professional I did enjoy making them today.

The dogs and I took a nice walk this afternoon.

Blessed are the Joy Makers...

This is a fall paper napkin that I used
for the front.


My cards...can you tell I like pink?

Now if I could just take better pictures.
Have a wonderful weekend.

The Queen's Meme # 56 ~The Numbers Game

The Queen's Meme #56 ~ The Numbers Meme
Welcome To The Queen's Meme #56 ~
It's a Numbers Game


Today we will discuss the fascinatingly cerebral subject of numbers.
I must warn you...the questions are excruciatingly difficult. Only the strongest will survive, thereby dodging the dreaded dungeon.
Alliteration! See, I told you I was cerebral.



**and no calculators**!!


1. Do you ever play the lottery? If so, what are your lucky numbers? Don't worry. I won't tell anyone.

Honestly, I tried it a few times. I knew a women in my former town that did win a million dollars. So we were all pumped up to try our lot. My favorite numbers are between one and a hundred. You will have to guess!


2. Did you do something special on 10/10/10 yesterday? I heard that lots of people got married. Are all of you still the same status as of today?



I did my usual things except that I went to Target and Michael's to shop. Why would I want to get married again when I am already married? Just asking?

3. "I've got your number!" Who would you like to say that to or who is the last person you said that to?





It is not too hard to have someone's number especially if you ask them for it. LOL


No seriously, if you are referring to having someone's number as in " I know what you have been up to?" I just watch people and can usually figure them out.


4. How many sheep do you count before you fall asleep?



I stopped counting a long time ago. It kept me up too long.



5. It's almost birthday time for the Queen. Do you believe that age is "just a number"....or is it something else more insidious and frightening???!!! **I am suddenly having a panic attack**



Don't panic my Queen. You will never grow old because you have the spirit of a youngster. Sorta like Peter Pan. "I won't grow up!"

6. How many zeros are in a trillion?


Too many to count!



7. How many sixteenth notes does it take to equal a whole note?


Sixteen?

8. (because I can) How many 8 balls are on a pool table?


In your dungeon there maybe more than one because you can, but everyone has just has one.

ATC's, Dogs and Cats

Bruno trying to fix my computer. He thinks he is so smart.
He likes to watch the cursor when it moves. We spend a lot of time together at the computer.

Dog sitting Carmen while my sister went to Florida for a few days.

This is an ATC which stands for Artist Trading Card. It is beautiful. I have not heard of them before now. It is about the size of a baseball card. My friend Cindy sent this to me. She has a wonderful blog that is so inspiring and is full of love and a great talent. If you have time please go to her blog and see just how creative she is. I think you will enjoy it.

http://ioweitalltohim.blogspot.com/

My silly dogs have two crates. They are together in the smaller one. One for Suzie, my yellow Lab and a smaller one for Hot Dog. Do you think they ever stay in their own crates? They play musical crates all the time. They are too funny. If they get any larger they will have to stay in the bigger crate. Just one of the silly reasons I love my dogs.

Well that is about it for today. I hope you have a good week.

And on the subject of Fall...

We are back to 90 degree days

There has been no rain

Dust is all we have

Fall, Fall, where did you go?

We had two weeks of nice and cool

But then you came and left us too fast

That's how it is in Texas... it never last.

As fickle as can be and always sure to change

I think it will be a while before you come again.

If you could just give us some rain

We could mow our yards without dust

Surely you know that this drought is a pain

We are getting desperate and this is a must.

So please Mother Nature send us some rain.

I have lost my energy because of this heat

I function better when I am not so beat

A good day

Just checking in to say that I have lost 1 and 1/2 pounds this week. I will take that as a sign that I am doing something right. I appreciate all of your comments and support so very much on my last post. Talk about support and friendship...you are all so kind to me. Thank you very much.

My assignment before I return to my work as a floral designer is to negotiate my salary with my former boss. Their sales have dropped since I left due to my knee injury and they ask me to come back to work. It will be very part time.

This is going to be a challenge because while I know I am worth it, I don't know if they can afford me. I tend to just give away my time because it is easier than asking for what I need. I don't mind really because this little job gives me something to do and the benefits are to be around fantastic people to work with.

I know what I can produce in my work and I know that I am good at what I do. I excel at my job and I love it. This is the only area of my life that I have real confidence. It is a gift that God has given me. I have always been able to take nothing and make it into something beautiful whether it be flowers or another man's junk. It becomes my treasure.

Well, that is it for me. Have a wonderful weekend. Much love and peace to all of you.

Working on me

Honestly, I never thought that working on me would be such a hard and difficult subject. Last January, I decided that for the first time in my life I would put myself first and get down to some serious help for myself. It includes my therapist, Sandie, my chiropractor, Dr. kyle and soon to be added to the mix will be my trainer. I will be adding a new doctor to this support team in the next week or two.

I have been lucky enough to have used all of the wonderful people to aid me in overcoming my self. Of course the names are different and not the same people I used before in Kilgore. I however, have never used them all at one time. This is team PAM. I do matter no matter what I tell myself. I am important to someone, no matter what I tell myself. I love me, no matter what I tell myself. I am just not sure that I believe it yet. I am making some head way. Do I believe it?

So today in therapy, I told Sandie that I felt like my life had no direction at this time in my life. I have never been without a plan or goals for my life. You can imagine that would be difficult for me because I need structure and I like goals. Sandie pointed out that maybe the year of me was to be my focus, my plan and my direction. "Oh...I see...mmmmm...well alright." I had not planned on that, but I guess it is time to let me have my own healing of self. My own time of renewal and growth. You see, I am not very comfortable putting myself in this place. It is really hard to work on me, myself and I.

I am a total mess in my life right now. A gal with no plan, except to work on herself? How selfish is that? It makes me feel very uncomfortable. Facing it is an even bigger obstacle. I am working on getting healthy again, getting my numbers down, loosing weight, exercising and letting go of a lot of tragedy from my childhood.

I don't really think anyone except my sister knows how our life was so messed up living with Mary Lou, our mother. Something was not quit right about her. She was determined to never be our mother. Ask us to call her sister and was so vain and selfish. I am the total opposite of her. She never owned up to the things that she did to me. I did forgive her because it was obvious she did not have a clue. Yet...somehow those horrid memories creep up into my soul and manage to still hurt me as if it was the first time she had abused me.

I am no longer blaming my crazy mother. She had an illness an addition to drinking, abusing prescription pills, repeated suicide attempts. It still hurts to know what she did to me and my sister. Being abused, abandoned, wanting to be accepted, yearning for approval and never receiving it and never feeling good enough or worthy.

I found this lovely quote on one of my friend's blog Debra at http://And It Came To Pass
I have know real hunger, and have experienced the other feelings as well. I have to tell you they are all insufferable for a child to endure. It just does something terrible to you that takes a long time to overcome.

~~Being unwanted, unloved, uncared for, forgotten by everybody, I think that is a much greater hunger, a much greater poverty than the person who has nothing to eat~~Mother Teresa

Hey, I am back!

I have not fallen off the face of the Earth though it sure feels like it. Actually, my computer's mother board had to be replaced. What ever that means. Yeah! I just got my computer back and I am so excited to be connected to the world again. I went nine days with out my computer. I do everything on this thing. It is my connection to the World, well almost.

It was not a pretty sight to see. My energy left me and I felt depressed and very sad not to be connected to the Internet. It is a huge part of my life... bloging...I thought I was going to loose it for a while because the withdrawal symptoms were so horrific.

First off, I was totally lost with nothing for my hands to do. No, I don't crochet or sew. Then nothing for my brain to do. Well that happens often I must admit. Then I got a sinus infection which helped releave some of the withdrawal because I was too sick to care. Every day I thought about all of my blog friends and hoping that you were all OK. I have been off for over nine days and yes I have suffered.

I have had to resort to cleaning the house, making cards, watching TV and reading. How did we ever survive before the Internet? Any way I just wanted to say HELLO to everyone and tell you how much I missed you.

I am alive and well now that my computer is repaired and working. My most favorite thing to do in the morning is drink my coffee and read your blogs.